


Kill the Lullabies

by Yume_Sekaii



Series: Mash It Up! [1]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Forgive Me, I did my best, I love this ship, I'm Sorry, M/M, Songfic, i tried okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yume_Sekaii/pseuds/Yume_Sekaii
Summary: It was hard to give up on something you didn't even bother doing.





	

 

  
There was something about him, something so grandeur and yet so off putting, that attracted him to such a nihilistic deviant. Renzou Shima was not to be trusted said everybody to the willing ears of anybody. That much was certain. He knew the rumors all too well, a pervert, a harasser, a peeper, they swirled around the school campus like dust in the air and they were as unavoidable as such.

Even so he remained.

 _Forever in my mind only you_  
_You reside in grand disguises_  
_The pieces in my life go away with you_  
_Just to get, get away from it all_

A lot of what is typically said is indeed true, he knew that. He was a pervert who couldn't help but read adult magazines the second he gets the chance. He was a harasser who consistently flirted with any pretty girl on sight with little concern if they were already in a committed relationship or not. He was a peeper who spied on women changing and bathing just for a quick jerk off. A degenerate no doubt.

And yet his heart will not be swayed.

 _Forever in my mind only you_  
_Falsify the life you're hiding_  
_The pieces in my life run away with you_  
_Just to get, get away from it all_

There was a lot left to be expected from someone with such a terrible reputation as he, a lot. Questions range from 'What will he grow up to do?' to 'How could his parents raise him so?' and much more... vile thoughts. None of it was any good, which is said because he knew him better that what everything else would suggest. The piling evidence, the witnesses, his own words!

At least he believes he does.

 _But the truth we pursue as we all beg you to_  
_You're my first love_  
_Kill the lights, kill the actor, kill the actress_  
_You're my first love_  
_I'm afraid that the spotlight dried you up_  
_You're my first love_

In high school it was different. He dyed his hair and attempted to act more 'refined'. By refined he meant 'near harass girls with more tact than before'. It was an improvement at least. Girls this time around don't cover themselves up and run when he's around now.

That's good right?

 _Shut your mouth, you make me sick with_  
_You're my first love_  
_All the lies, all the lies that you spill_  
_Forever in my mind only you_  
_The pieces in my life go away with you_

What he was and what he has become are both, in a sense, awful. A tolerable awful at least. The precautions he had to trust him were gone after coming back to save him. A heroic thing to do. He then went and backstabbed them before revealing his dubious double spy life. Not as heroic.

He still defended him though.

 _Slip and fall, I'll watch you drown in_  
_Forever in my mind only you_  
_The pieces in my life run away with you_  
_All the lies, all the lies that you spill_

And now he stood before him, his cynical eyes reflect a sort of bothered look hidden behind a smile. It's what he's always been like. He knows that. He knows that more than anybody else, for longer than everybody else. He couldn't let up though. Do it, he told himself. It wasn't like he could keep up anymore.

"What's up Neko?" he said. "Why'd you call me out here?"

_Forever in my mind_

There was a short pause. He had to ready himself. It wasn't like he knew this day was going to come. That it would be today. That it would be in pure defeat. Even so, he must resolve every bit of uncertainty pent up in him and continue.

"Shima," he began, his entirety shaking. "I have... something to tell you."

_So sick of nothing going right_

Quizzical. Renzou's face twisted to a mix of concern and doubt.

"Hey Neko, something wrong? Take it easy buddy, it can't be all that bad."

Not all that bad.

_I wanted to go away with you_

"You're right," Neko said. He laughed. "It's nothing special."

_Sail on along into the night_

"Cool," Renzou replied.

"I've just been in love with you for eight years, no worries."

Renzou's eyes widened.

"Wait what!?" said Renzou. "Hey that's totally --"

_I wanted only you_

Before he could continue Neko had cut him off.

"I know right, stupid. To think I even had a remote chance of being with you."

And he laughed. Renzou wasn't amused though.

_Not even death could stand in the way_

"Neko what the hell? Why are you laughing!? This isn't funny!"

Yeah, it wasn't.

_I wanted to go away with you_

"You're right, it's not. It's that cliche story of a gay guy falling in love with a straight guy. I'm sorry you had to be a part of it."

"But--"

_I wanted only you_

"I can't do this anymore."

_You never even tried in the first place_

**Author's Note:**

> Kya!!! Hi! I tried my best please accept it ;-; This is probs the first fic for these two and I made it look bad... I kind of rushed it at the end since I wasn't fully sure of what I wanted, just knew that I wanted to have a mash up I did for Kill the Lights by Set It Off and Lullabies by Yuna. I hope you enjoyed it and check out the other fics in the series if you do! It'll mean a lot to me!


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